This week I started thinking about moving on in my life. I considered one day finding my forever partner ( which is a positive thought for me).
You never know there might be a Mr right as I have picked Mr wrong twice now.
Then I reflected on how my home is running right now. Well my three adorable children whom I love so much, don’t help in the home one little bit.
I feel so guilty for putting up with him that I have always pampered them.
I usually wake up to a kitchen full of dishes, no glasses not even a cup for my coffee and I have to search the rooms for glasses and cups. I had muddled through continuing to pamper them.
However how will my lovely oldest son find a wife when he has never cooked or cleaned for himself?
He is 21 and would love a wife. My second son yasin has a wife who is also pampered by me. What am I teaching them while pandering to them?
I never intended to raise three children to be so unhelpful yet that is exactly what I have done. Hubby treated me like a servant and refused them to even make a sandwich in case they made a mess, as I was to keep everything spotless.
That is how it happened, we lived like that for 22 year’s but we don’t have to now. Yet it’s nearly a year since I stopped being a victim and I am still serving everyone.
So before I can even think about moving on I need to teach my beautiful grown children who are 16, 19 and 21 to not see me as a servant and clean up after themselves. I need to finish my decorating as I have started in every room in my home and not finished anything.
I need to treat me with care and value myself as right now I am putting everyone before me as that was normal for me.
If I don’t start with these issues then how can I move forward?
I am afraid to think of marrying again yet at the tender age of 40+ am I to live without ever feeling love ? I would love to meet Mr right. Yet I am scared of the likelihood of him being Mr wrong again.
My two previous husbands were definitely wrong so you can understand I don’t trust my ability to choose the right one.
First things first I need to value myself before even thinking of marrying again. I have started asking them to wash their plates so that is my positive start this week. Inshallah I will continue with small steps to teach them.