Challenging behaviour after abuse.

This week has been very challenging so far and we are only half way through. One example of the issues that I am facing was, my oldest son age 21 decided to make so much noise at 5am, disturbing both my daughter (who is studying for her GCSE’s) and I.
However I managed to remain calm and deal with him in a effective manner. I put in consequences that I could maintain.
People will think why are you having these issues with a 21 year old. I was never able to put in punishments for negative behaviour as my perpetrator would have known the children did something wrong which put them at risk of violence from him.
Protecting them from him ment I couldn’t deal with issues. They would be good around him as they were aware of his rage.
I’m proud Alhamdulillah that I am starting to make some ground with my children. I reassure them that I love them so much but anti social behaviour cannot be tolerated.
I hope that we will turn a corner and see the last of that behaviour inshallah .
People think when you get rid of the abuser it all positive sadly the children who saw you being walked over also try to push boundaries as you tolerated so much from someone you didn’t even like so therefore you would tolerate your beloved children’s behaviour.
I have now excepted that I did not make a choice to be a victim. He made a choice to be a abuser. I have to stop feeling guilty for staying it was not a choice. I had no freedom to leave him.
Standing up to my children’s behaviour has to be done for them just as much as me inshallah.

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