This needs to be yelled from the rooftops!!!!
Dear Muslim Community,
When a woman comes to you telling you about the ongoing physical, verbal or even financial abuse she’s suffered from her husband, please have some compassion in your hearts and don’t make her feel guilty for wanting to leave that marriage.
Please don’t ignore the pain in her eyes and the intense grief in her voice and tell her to simply go back and put up with her husband and be patient…Because Islam doesn’t expect a woman to be “patient” in that case…
So please give her some hope by reminding her about how Islam came to defend, honour and protect the wellbeing of women.
And please try to comfort her by telling her that Allah ﷻ is not going to punish her for wishing to get out of that miserable, toxic marriage.
And that Islam teaches us as Muslims to stand up against oppression and to help and support the oppressed.
And that the one who remains silent and doesn’t come to your aid when they had the ability to do so, is like a helper in that oppression….
Dearest sisters, if you have suffered ongoing physical, verbal, or financial abuse in your marriage, then know that Islam has allowed a woman to protect herself from that harm by asking for a divorce in that case, and it’s not something you should feel guilty about, as long as you know that what you’re claiming is absolutely true.
And finally please know that it’s not allowed for a husband who’s oppressed you to punish you twice, by pushing you into taking khula’ (separation) from him, and to force you to pay back your mahr (dowry) in order for you to get released from your marriage contract, because that is “pushing the wife to give up from her mahr without right.” (1) Rather what he should do is divorce you and give to you the rights that are due to you in Islam.
Allah ﷻ says in Surat an-Nisaa v19:
ولا تعضلوهن لتذهبوا ببعض ما آتيتموهن
“And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality.”
May Allah ﷻ protect us all from supporting, witnessing or remaining silent in the face of Thulm (oppression), because verily Thulm is darkness on the Day of Resurrection.
(1) See Al-Mughni, Chapter of Al-Khula’ 7:5751
Repost: Umm Jamaal ud-Din